Fake Profiles, Twitter, and You

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We all enjoy a good laugh, no? You don’t have to be on Twitter to enjoy this little romp but if you are a Tweep you get to groan a little too.


Routine: I check to see who is following me once a day. And more times than not, I find myself not following tweeps back more and more. The majority of new followers seems to be MLM’ers, Rap Music aficionados, unclothed “babes”, people who tweet in Chinese or Russian, or tweeps who don’t even exist. One guy's bio beckoned me with a "hey bitch". Sweet.


No thank you, @mary647251 ...I don’t need your babble about not having a grip on your saddle and @sassyjenna60 no thank you to yet another link to a website that’s going to make me rich without my even flexing my pinkie.


I've been gathering up some of the more interesting profiles before I block them to share with you. First up is Sondra; she can free up your time so you can play more games (wow!). But dearest Sondra, did someone make off with your shirt?


 

Shortly after meeting Sondra, I couldn't help notice she was now going by the moniker 

Anette and enjoying a career change:

But wait! She appeared yet again, with a cute, boyish name and a proclaimed love for marketing and networking. And poor Randee! She appeared to have lost her previous job and was simply on Twitter to meet "interesting" people. I wasn't one of the interesting people that cared to meet her and at this point was starting to be concerned if perhaps she was feeling a bit chilly:

Randee already had over 1,000 followers and made 15 lists in her new career! I wish her well. BLOCKED.


Next up is Emily who likes to party and show cleavage in a similar fashion to  Sondra/Anette/Randee:

Wow, Emily...you'd follow ME back? What an honor! Can I send you a sweater? And this was before I met Brett the astronaut...

How I admire her ambition! Bet she's in Houston right now preparing for her dream date. And note, she doesn't want to be ON the moon...heck no! She's going to dig herself a little foxhole and snuggle IN the moon. You gotta admire her precise goals.


And last but not least, there's Margo who sports a bikini and loves to dance in a 60's style; do you have the boots that are made for walkin'? Wonder if Margo shares my admiration for mid-century modern architecture and furnishings too? 

Seriously...would you follow these incredible women back? Lots of tweeps do. My guess is that they have an auto followback set up, something I recommend that you don't do. Take time for a close look at your new followers. Nowadays, lots of them are people you would never tweet with, while many others aren't even real people!

They ARE good for a chuckle though, aren't they? Now, excuse me while I select BLOCK.

In honor of Margo and her pals, enjoy this groovy tune. 

Stop by, say Hi! There's the website, Facebook, Twitter, and Google+ ...and thanks for stopping by here.

You’re Only Three to Me, Twitter.

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Apologies for not being around at your birth, AND for being a few days late for your birthday, but hey, I couldn't be. 


Never worked for Odeo, so, wasn’t around during the “Twittr” days. And wait just a minute! Technically, Twitter hasn't been public for six years (yet). And nope, wasn't there when you went public in July 2006 nor was I there when Twitter “spun off” in April 2007; I’m not a techie!


No Twitter...

... I discovered you in January 2009. Not working at the time and bored off my gourd, I cautiously set up my Twitter account. I was painfully shy, using a photo of a snippet of my favorite coat as my profile pic, using my first name and last name initial, and my tweets were set to private. 


Slowly, I inched forward.


And blundered. Made some mistakes early on such as not using @ when replying. Was scolded by a follower for that and called “mate” by another; that’s what happens when you’re a female with the nickname Gerry.

When Easter rolled around, I thought it would be cute to post a tune by Echo and The Bunnymen. My choice of song apparently wasn’t so adorable to my followers; via an app I discovered that twenty-four people had unfollowed me shortly after that post. Embarrassing? Sure, but it taught me to think harder about how I was presenting myself in a public place.


Being the sort of soul who doesn’t give up easily, I kept at it. Early on, I met some wonderful people who I’m still in contact with today and those relationships have spread to contact via other social networks and/or via phone. There’s a few that despite their living some distance away that I’ve met “in real life” and others I’ve attempted to meet up with but the timing was off. At any rate, it’s a pleasure to meet them all, in-person or virtually.


Three plus years ago it was easy to meet people on Twitter. Now, with the growth of babbling and spam that’s out there, it requires some effort to see through the clutter.

And, the lack of visual with this social network never appealed to me and I still dislike that aspect of it.  


Plus, I’ve never been happy about the fact that tweets are public; just google yourself. They may not be on the first page, but a bunch of tweets will be listed from a few days before. For that reason, I take a lot of conversations private; why let the whole world in on some details about me that I wouldn’t ordinarily spew out in idle conversation?


Those exploratory first few months taught me a lot. During that time I also took a series of classes via internet to learn how to help small businesses with social media and discovered how my marketing background smoothly fit in. Lucky me! While having fun on Twitter I was transitioning my business with expanded services at the same time. 

Those of you who haven’t earned your wings on Twitter yet and want to grow your business: Don’t give up. Work with a professional who can get you where you want to go and advise you on how to incorporate your presence on various social networks in a more strategic way.


If you’re on Twitter for networking, a class is worth your while to get the basics down (something I call the “Rule of 2000” will annoy you when it creeps up, for example).  And, look for meet-ups in your area where you can eventually meet some of your followers.


So Twitter, what’s in store for you and me in the future? For now, our relationship is pretty solid and I plan on spending more time with you. If you inform me about change beforehand and prep me a bit, I’ll respect you. And do continue to be a platform where lasting relationships begin. Thank you, so far.


We’re still surfin’ and the bird IS the word. For a special musical “tweet”, click here.

Ouch! My Twitter ego is hurting.

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What do YOU do when you see your follower numbers go down? Do you cry? Do you even care? I DO care because I have found that sometimes Twitter “hiccups” and unfollows people on MY behalf, then those tweeps that I truly want to have around unfollow me (because they THINK I’ve followed THEM).

Or, maybe you just want to know who unfollowed you. NOW. Right now, from a curiosity standpoint. Or because it looks like your followers went down by twenty or more. Eeek! Was it something I said?

To get bruised almost instantly, every 15 minutes if you care to do so, try a service called who.unfollowed.me.  A couple of clicks, and voila! There are all those people who’ve decided you’re not worth their while. And better yet, you can call them out with a simple click and tweet about them. Woo! Revenge? Nah, they’re not worth the trouble, right?

Now, I don’t want to dwell on negativity. There’s actually a positive point to make here. Chances are you are not unfollowed by one or more tweeps every 15 minutes so you will be relieved to know that this service will also alert you to the fact that NO ONE has unfollowed you. Yay! And, now that we’re feeling all smiley and happy, who.unfollowed.me will even let you tell the world all about that too! Just a click and you’re done. Ego restored.

What I find fascinating about this service is the list of recent tweeps who have checked their unfollowers. I’m amazed by how many accounts listed there have the name “Bieber” contained within their Twitter names. But what’s even more interesting is the massive number of unfollowers those accounts have; one time I saw 2,222!

But here’s the best part; the service is free! You get plenty of goodies being a “lite” user. Besides the every fifteen minute “check up” and the “callouts” (if you care to do these), there’s also a seven day history of unfollowers (don’t understand why anyone would want to look back in anger, so this attribute is perhaps moot). Another feature will show you who’s not following you back (there are better services for this feature, actually).

There’s also a paid service, which gives you the ability to check unfollowers every minute, twenty-four hours a day. No more waiting with baited breath!  And, you can “organize” your unfollowers. Not sure why anyone would need this feature and spend better utilized time with it. There are more goodies with the paid service too. And, it’s cheap at $4.99 a year.

But what’s the point? The free service is just fine, and if you have the time, check it once or maybe twice a day. Better yet, instead of commiserating over what’s lost, why not celebrate the wonderful new followers that come along instead,  focusing quality time on meeting tweeps who could turn out to be your new best friend or the greatest thing since sliced bread? This seems like a better concentration of energy …don’t you agree?

When Using Automated Direct Messages Goes WRONG WRONG WRONG (One Example)

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@Pawprints4ever* recently began following my Twitter account.

While deciding whether or not to follow back, I took the time to read the bio for @Pawprints4ever and learned they had a pet-related page on Facebook. Great! Decided not only to follow back, but also immediately “liked” their Facebook page. I then sent a friendly Direct Message (DM) to them stating I had joined and invited them to become a fan of my dog’s Facebook page (yes, my dog has a Facebook page AND a Twitter account). Perhaps we could help each other.

Several hours later, a Direct Message arrives….

Thank you for following us. Please be our fan on Facebook at Pawprints4ever http://www.facebook.com/pages/PawsPrints4ever

Excuse me. Did I not already “like” their page? Aha! It became painfully clear to me that followers of @pawprints4ever are not worthy of a personal message. I felt violated; was I just another tweep, being “acquired” so that I could get blasted with marketing that perhaps I didn’t want?

So here we are, 24 hours later. Giving @pawprints4ever the benefit of the doubt, I sent yet another DM (in two tweets):

Yesterday, I became a fan of your FB site; several hours later you sent a invite to join your FB site...what's up with that?....

....and, sent an invite to you to join my dog's fan page on FB. You did not. Are your messages automated? mine are not. thanks, Gerry.

Firm, yes. To the point, yes. That was the intention. Was I surprised when no response came? Nope. But I admit to being surprised just a couple of days later when @Pawprints4ever unfollowed me.

@Pawprints4ever never took the time to learn I’m an avid pet lover. Not to give myself a shameless plug, but since it’s relevant here, I DO write about pet-friendly places for examiner.com. One would think this would “qualify” me to be a part of their target audience, given the fact that their reason for being is to bring dog owners, pet friendly businesses and pet-friendly destinations together for socializing, sharing information and promoting responsible pet ownership and interactions.

Lesson learned: Putting your business on automatic pilot just isn’t a good idea. In the example above, timing IS everything. So is the message. It has to make sense. Automation is never going to let that happen 100%. Automated direct message = Fail. Think about it. This is as cold and unfriendly as those robotic voices you get when calling most corporations nowadays.


* Fictitious name. Why am I protecting this twit? Heck, I don’t know!

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P.S. If you are a pet owner or lover, my dog, Mighty Joe Young is @mitejoe on Twitter and his page is "Poodle of the Pacific" on Facebook.